Define suicide. Masochism. Catharsis. Self mutilation.
Then separate each from your need for attention and so-called self expression.
Now, pussy, know what you want and let’s get down to business.
You know you want to be a real pain princess.
Ah, wannabe, what does that puny blade offer?
Shut up, throw that shit away, let’s start over:
Light a cigarette, inhale as hard as you can, an eternal breath
Cough up smoke, then press that fucking stick down on your skin until it’s dead.
Repeat process until you can’t feel the hiss and strike of the burn.
Step two, get your basic serial killer kitchen knife and learn
That tricks aren’t only for vegetables but also for worth-lobotomized girls
So slice and flay and mince and butcher
Under your lovely dark nails and two or three of your fingers.
Explore past nipples and navels and neck and nurse the feel
Of doodling pain and numbness both, and peeling pages of skin
Cut them and sculpt them and make them all pure and pretty
You don’t care anymore, don’t you and don’t we?
Step three steal your fucking daddy’s gun
Russian roulette with one is always fun.
Now this is where the fork in the road is tall and mean
You want to die, princess, or you want to live?
If you choose the former you can’t do this lovely leisure anymore
So choose life so we can have more torture styles and encores.
So put the gun in your mouth and cock it
Just to know how it feels, the cold metal on your lips
And blow it real hard, nice and slow and deepthroat and wet, go girl, stick it in your cunt and call on Eros
Make love with a weapon and know how to dance with the thrill of an almost-encounter with Thanatos
After all isn’t this what you’re looking for, who your Prince Charming is?
The dark and poetic and dangerous and a perversion of bliss.
Just because everyone else /wrists like sports
Doesn’t mean it’s the new black for brutal soliloquy
As every angst and tear and blood and profound error
Are always born from mundane and futile self atrocities.
Crybaby, you have yourself assured and proved and standardized
Branded scene and in with the hype.
Vivien Marie Lopez