Posted as a Facebook status:
Dear Damsel In Profound Distress,
I know you must be lonely and desperate as I can gather from your FB About page, but I hope you do realize that what you’re doing is getting you nowhere but your untimely mortal departure and your possibly unmarked grave. Surely, batting your eyelashes to my husband’s direction is an exercise in futility because I have longer, thicker ones. LOL.
You’re a finesse-devoid coquette and YOU CANNOT AFFORD MY BRAND OF ROMANCIN’ MY MAN. Give it up. I can read and see all your communication attempts, we are practicing absolute transparency here.
Sincerely he’s not yours,
Vivien Marie Lopez Jorillo
(You know who you are. Like this within 24 hours and I will not tag you.)
PS: YES, THE GIRL LIKED THIS STATUS.